Maybe This Time
by TheHazardsOfLove13
Summary: Unreciprocated love is the bitterest kind of love. Soulmate AU


**Written for Lamia for the Caesar's Palace Fanfiction Exchange**

Sayaka first saw him in the hallway at school, a shy, quiet, boy carrying a violin case. "Wonder who he is?" she asked her friend Madoka.

"I think he's the violinist we've been hearing about, Kyosuke Kamijo, I think his name is" Madoka answered. "Isn't he supposed to be some kind of prodigy? Why are you wondering?"

"No reason," Sayaka responded. "I was just curious."The conversation slid smoothly away from the topic and the girls laughed and talked as good friends do about whatever subjects were at the forefront of their minds.

The thought of the prodigy didn't slide so easily away from Sayaka though, throughout the conversation she kept darting glances towards her arm. Specifically, towards the barely outlined calligraphic mark on her skin. She knew that when she met her soulmate, the mark would glow, and though it was ridiculous to think that he could be the one, a faint glimmer flickered across her skin nonetheless. Of course, it could have only been her imagination, Sayaka didn't even like classical music, and certainly her soulmate couldn't be someone who devoted their life to it.

The next weekend Sayaka found herself sitting in the lavish red and gold trimmed seats of the concert hall, examining the program for the day's concert. A program that heavily featured young violinist Kyosuke Kamijou. Sayaka was curious about how good he was, not that she really had any standards of comparison. The lights in the auditorium dimmed and he walked out onto the stage.

He didn't seem nervous at all, Sayaka marveled. If she was up there, she would be terrified. But he seemed calm and composed, the same as he had looked in the halls. In fact, a faint smile curved across his lips as he tucked a lock of sandy brown hair behind his ear and began to play.

Instantly Sayaka was lost in the sea of notes. Kyosuke and his violin seemed like one thing as the rippling arpeggios and chords flew out from where his bow met the strings and into the auditorium. She had never known that music could sound like this, and as she leaned forward to hear better, Sayaka noticed her soulmate mark was glowing. The outline had always been hard to make out, and she had never quite been able to see what it was, now she could clearly see the elegant, calligraphic curves of a treble clef, lit by a light seeming to come from her skin.

The song ended, and she clapped her hands together frantically, mark still glowing. Their eyes seemed to meet for a moment, before he returned to his violin and to the next piece on the program.

It took her several days before she finally gathered up the courage to talk to him. "I saw your concert a couple of days ago," she stammered. "You played beautifully."

He turned and smiled at her. "Thank you," he replied politely. "I'm sorry, what's your name again?"

"Oh, um, Sayaka Miki," she replied, blushing. Her mark started to shine again, a radiant blue color reinforcing the lines of the treble clef. Wait, the soulmarks, she remembered. If they were truly meant to be, his would light up as well. Sayaka tried to look without being too obvious, but saw nothing, not a glimmer of light could be seen. A wave of disappointment hit her, and she was thoroughly relieved when the bell for her next class rang, ending the encounter.

Later that night she thought to herself, trying not to let herself cry. Well, mine didn't light up at first when I met him, so maybe his'll be the same way. Maybe I just need to get to know him a little better and then his mark will light up and take shape next to me. Maybe.

Sayaka resolved to get closer to him and as the year passed, they became friends. Sayaka went to all of his concerts and cheered the loudest as the curtain fell and he took a serene bow. Their encounters in the hallways were always pleasant and he never noticed that Sayaka had taken to wearing long sleeved shirts with sleeves extending over her arm where the soulmate mark was.

For her part, during every encounter, anxious glances were continuously being darted towards his arm, hoping against hope that this time the soulmate mark would form and she could push up her sleeves and show hers, bright blue and glowing. It never did, and Sayaka went away from each encounter resigned, with one single thought burning in the back of her brain. Next time.

Then came the accident. "A shame," said the adults in hushed voices, trying to converse without Sayaka overhearing. "He'll live, but I doubt he'll ever be able to play again."

To Sayaka's shame, her first emotion was not sadness or shock but a strange sort of triumph. Violin had always been Kyosuke's one great love, maybe now that he couldn't play...maybe this time. Then she realized what she had been thinking, and almost stepped back in shock. How could she think that? He was his music, the two couldn't be separated, and now that was gone. Sayaka stayed by his side, coming everyday to the hospital to try to make him feel better, but the Kyosuke lying in the hospital bed wasn't the friend that she had known. His hands were bandaged and clumsy, nothing like the delicate slim hands that had made the world stand still with nothing but a violin in them. Sayaka wished she could fix things, that there was something she could do.

So yes, when Kyuubey gave her the opportunity she took it, bringing back the Kyosuke she knew with her wish. That day when she went to visit, he was happier than she had ever seen him, talking about miracles. Sayaka was sure today was the day that his mark would finally light up, but nothing happened. More, after looking at her own arm, hers had vanished as well, the familiar blue tracery gone.

Sayaka began to panic. Do I not love him anymore? Why is it gone? The next few times she visited him were accompanied by panicked glances at her arm, which remained resolutely blank.

I can't have stopped loving him, this is impossible, she thought. To distract herself from the thoughts, she threw herself into battle becoming ever more reckless. The blue of her crystalline soul gem seem to mock her as he used, reminding her of the love that would never be hers. The darkness that began to coat it as she fought fight after fight seemed almost reassuring. I can lose myself in this, she thought, battle after battle. I don't have to feel anything.

Sayaka embraced the darkness, until one day, the darkness embraced her.


End file.
